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13 Year Old Girl Is Uncomfortable and Determines That Means She’s Trans

My 13 yr old daughter decided last year that she was trans after her friend at school did. She had a horrible bout with anxiety and depression before that. She also had a bad breakup with her first boyfriend with whom she had her first kiss. Then she says she’s bisexual, then I see that she “came out” at school with a new name and pronouns. I only knew because I was spying after a suicide scare months earlier.

It’s been a year and a half after she came out, and we’ve successfully treated her anxiety and depression without medication. Amino acid therapy works wonders! Despite feeling better emotionally and separating herself from most of the LGBTQ friends, she’s still determined to get hormones and surgery at age 18. Her dad and I do not use her chosen name or pronouns and that bothers her but I’ve explained why we don’t—that she’s on an unsafe path, that feeling uncomfortable in your body doesn’t automatically mean you’re trans.

There’s lots of love in the relationship. Tons of hugs, I-love-you’s and laughs, but there’s the elephant in the room and I worry every day. I see what could happen if she doesn’t change her mind so I’m doing lots of activism online and in my community.

Partners for Ethical Care shares these stories to give voice to individuals who cannot share their stories publicly due to the possibility of losing their jobs, their friends, and their children. All stories are confidential and anonymous. You can share your story too. Go to and click on the Share Your Story button. We welcome your story, your time, and your donation to support this important work.


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